Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
