Christians are straight up FREAKS
True but thats because hes a fetus.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
