Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
