You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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