I faked an abortion last night.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
