we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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