All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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