Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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