Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
