She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize