Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
