Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize