Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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