Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
