I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
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we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
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Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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