Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".