I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
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Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
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Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.