Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
