I think I am morally bankrupt
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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