Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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