i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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