Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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