Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
