thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize