how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Randomize
