Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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