Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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