I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
