The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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