Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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