Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
