this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
