Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
