I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize