I smell stomach acid.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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