She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
