I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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