I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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