Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
