we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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