Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
