i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
