she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
