I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize