Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
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Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize