i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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