Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize