They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
