I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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