Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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