ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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