Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize