put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
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