This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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