I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize