I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
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just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
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Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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